This is part 3 of a 4-part blog series by Trystan H., a recipient of the Charlotte Tucker Scholarship.

Managing type 1 diabetes is no easy task. Each day poses new challenges and tasks that must be met in order to stay healthy. Learning how to complete these tasks is difficult in any situation, and it is especially tough in school. Since I was diagnosed at eleven years old, I did not have to navigate preschool, kindergarten, or elementary school with the additional stress of diabetes. I was diagnosed in sixth grade, the beginning of my middle school years. Middle school is already a stressful time for young people (and their parents), but this diagnosis made middle school a lot more challenging for me than I thought it would be.

Making friends and fitting in was easy for some… not so easy for others. One of my first fears of going back to school after I was diagnosed was the fear of rejection. I was so terrified that everyone was going to think of me differently. I hated telling people that I had diabetes, and I avoided it at all costs for pretty much the rest of middle school. I began to become more open about it in high school, but back to middle school for now. Luckily, my best friend did not think of me any differently, and she went with me to the nurse’s office every day to prick my finger and take my insulin. The teachers believed that I should be able to go to the nurse by myself, so they instructed my friend not to go with me again, but that did not stop her. She would find a way to sneak down the hallway almost every day at lunch. I do not think my friend will ever know how impactful her daily support for me was. I truly believe that a silly story like this can show the power of friendship. I encourage you to surround yourself with people who will support you through any struggles that you have with diabetes. This friendship made all of my dreaded nurse’s visits much less painful and helped me get through the years when I wasn’t quite able to manage my diabetes on my own. I encourage you to reach out to others like my friend did to me. It could be life changing for someone.

Now let’s get to high school. At long last, no more daily visits to the nurse! It took me a while to be able to become truly independent with my diabetes. When I got to high school, I knew that it was well past the time for me to start doing things on my own, and let me tell you, the independence felt so good. I ate what I wanted to, which was not always a good thing, I avoided the nurse at all costs, and I let my diabetes influence me in minimal ways. At this point in my life, the independence was so nice, that my glucose levels started to go down the drain. I was focused on hanging out with my friends and, more specifically, my boyfriend, all of the time. Whatever they ate, I ate. I did not count my carbs as accurately as I should have, and I put my academic and social lives ahead while my health was on the back burner.

I look back and think of this stage as my rebellious stage in life since I was basically rebelling against my health. Another huge factor in my BG levels going downhill is a huge fear that I have: going low. I have always been terribly afraid of going low, especially while I sleep. In order to account for this, I would often make my blood sugars go high so I would not have to worry about a low. I do not recommend anybody do this. My A1C’s gradually rose until I realized what I was doing and how horrible it was for my body. Doctors could tell me over and over that I needed to take more insulin, but I did not listen until I understood for myself what I was doing. I choose to hear their advice, but not listen to it. Once it clicked in my brain how silly my little rebellion was, I felt foolish and unhappy with my choices. Since then, I have definitely become better about trusting my pump and allowing my levels to lower into normal amounts. High school opened up a lot of doors for me to gain independence and be responsible for my health, and, unfortunately, I abused my freedoms for a while. I am not proud of it, but it did happen and still does happen. I don’t ever have a perfect day where my blood sugars are 100% where I want them to be, but this is just a fact of living with diabetes, and it certainly does not stop me from trying to do my best.

At long last, I have arrived at college, woo hoo! I thought what I had in high school was independence! College has ten times more independence. There are fast food options within a five-minute walk in every direction around my dorm. I can eat anything and everything that I want. I can choose when to go out, when to go to class, when to relax, when to study, and on and on. Luckily, I have become wiser since high school, and I do not abuse my freedoms as much as I did a few years ago. College comes with a lot of opportunities to make bad choices, and not just for diabetics. You can choose to skip class and focus only on your social life and start failing. You can choose to throw away the hard work that you put in and party your life away. College also comes with many opportunities to make amazing, life-changing decisions. You can pass your classes and get a degree that will open up so many doors in the future. You can choose to go to the gym for free as a student any day of the week. You can be active in your social life and still thrive in academics. I am very thankful that I am focusing on eating better, studying hard, and trying to live a healthier lifestyle. I try not to abuse the freedoms that I have, but sometimes I still make mistakes. There is always room for improvement, and the farther along in my education that I go, the more I realize how important my choices are. I now use my independence to grow and tackle the challenges of diabetes every day.